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Springtime for Pundits

If you’re into self-dramatization, Donald Trump’s candidacy is perfect for you.

Half of the Washington political class is vowing to vote for Hillary — even Stalin! — over Trump; psychologists (and massage therapists) report they are treating patients for “Trump anxiety”; lengthy thought-pieces on Trump have no room to mention his signature issue, immigration, but get prolix on George Wallace, Mussolini and Hitler. (Never Mao, Stalin or Lenin, curiously.)

You’re going to have to act quickly if you hope to be among the first 200 princesses to feel the pea under 15 layers of mattresses.

To save you time, I will provide the prototype. Do not be surprised if the following turns up, word for word, under the byline of David Brooks, Stephen Hayes, Cokie Roberts, every single writer for Salon, Gawker, National Review, Commentary and The Huffington Post. And then, of course, Fareed Zakaria will steal it.

** ** **

“J’accuse Donald Trump”

Watching the candidacy of Donald Trump, I am continually struck by his resemblance to a man who came to power in a far-off land nearly 85 years ago, a historical epic that I had naively hoped was well buried in the past.

Consider the following:

— Adolf Hitler held gigantic rallies, where he inspired millions with rousing speeches. Donald Trump holds gigantic rallies, where he inspires millions with rousing speeches.

— Adolf Hitler talked about making his country great again. Donald Trump talks about making his country great again.

— Adolf Hitler promised military victories. Donald Trump promises military victories.

— Adolf Hitler had a loyal and overweight henchman, Hermann Goering. Donald Trump has a loyal and overweight henchman, Chris Christie.

— Adolf Hitler blamed a specific group of immigrants for all the nation’s problems (Ed: Jews weren’t immigrants — Close enough!). Donald Trump blames a specific group of immigrants for all the nation’s problems.

— Adolf Hitler vowed to build a wall (Ed: Wait a minute — when did Hitler talk about a wall? Shhhh! Nevermind!) Donald Trump vows to build a wall.

— Adolf Hitler was a teetotaler. Donald Trump is a teetotaler.

— Adolf Hitler had a hobby that he enjoyed very much (painting). Donald Trump has a hobby that he enjoys very much (golf).

— Adolf Hitler had an opulent home in the city as well as a country home, “The Berghof” in Berchtesgaden. Donald Trump has an opulent home in the city as well as a country home, “Mar-a-Lago” in Palm Beach.

— Adolf Hitler was involved with a woman from Central Europe, Eva Braun. Donald Trump is married to a woman from Central Europe, Melania Knauss.

— Adolf Hitler had a pact with the Soviet Union from 1939 to 1941; Donald Trump said nice things about Russian president Vladimir Putin.

— Adolf Hitler required all non-Jewish, German civilians to greet one another with a rigid right-arm salute, while exclaiming “Heil!” or “Heil Hitler!” Donald Trump has asked audiences to promise to vote for him by raising their hands, which is the PRECISELY same thing.

— Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian; Donald Trump has never smoked.

— Adolf Hitler forcibly annexed Czechoslovakia. Donald Trump tried to merge two casinos in Atlantic City.

— Adolf Hitler invested hundreds of millions of dollars on German aviation to upgrade the Luftwaffe. Donald Trump has invested hundreds of millions of dollars in private jets.

— Adolf Hitler never had any children, but if he had, they would probably have been blond. Both of Donald Trump’s daughters are blond.

— Adolf Hitler’s favorite food was liver dumplings, a dish very similar to meatloaf. (Ed.: They’re not remotely similar. No one knows that.) Donald Trump’s favorite food is meatloaf.

— Adolf Hitler had light hair and a moustache. Donald Trump has light hair and a moustache. (This has not been definitively established, but some who knew Trump in the 1970s recall that he had a moustache, albeit a fuller, longer one.)

— One of Adolf Hitler’s idols was World War I fighter pilot Manfred von Richthofen, also known as “the Red Baron.” Donald Trump’s son is named Barron. (It’s spelled differently, but sounds the same.)

— Adolf Hitler liked Eva Braun because she was very attractive; Donald Trump’s wife, Melania, is very attractive.

— Adolf Hitler vowed to exterminate entire races; Donald Trump has vowed to exterminate ALL Mexicans and Central Americans. (Mr. Trump has yet to call for this, but if he had, it would be an amazing parallel and speak very ill of his character.)

— One of Adolf Hitler’s favorite desserts, not his No. 1 favorite, but one he enjoyed several times a year, was chocolate ice cream. Donald Trump has talked about formerly liking Oreos. (Recently, he vowed never to eat Oreos again because Nabisco moved its factories to Mexico. This does not negate his previous position on the cookie.)

— Adolf Hitler was known for erecting concentration camps – surrounded by walls to keep people out, particularly Mexicans. (Ed: That’s not true.) Donald Trump wants to build a wall.

— Allowing Adolf Hitler to come to power was a horrible mistake for an entire nation; allowing Donald Trump to come to power will be a horrible mistake for an entire nation.

In conclusion, [dramatic music plays] I have covered American politics for 30 years. For the first time in my life I am afraid for my country. Very afraid. Very, very afraid. Very, very, very afraid.

COPYRIGHT 2016 ANN COULTER, DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK

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Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter is an American conservative social and political commentator, writer, syndicated columnist, and lawyer. She frequently appears on television, radio, and as a speaker at public and private events.
  • Max

    Donald Trump is Caucasian; Hitler was Caucasian.

    Hitler sometimes carried a pistol. Trump sometimes carries a pistol.

    “Adolph” has six letters, the number of the beast; “Donald” has six letters, also the number of the beast.

    I could go on and on. The parallels are shocking!

  • conanthecontrarian

    Ann reminds me of the nosey reporter that Mousolini (sp?) nailed on his office desk in 1937 …

  • chilitom

    The GOP is committing suicide as did Hitler. It is flat telling those of us in the rank-and-file that we have no voice, we need to be ignored; the core knows better. By election day the GOP will be a minority party, never to arise as a national power again.
    But I fear Trump, even should he get the nomination will not be on anybodies’ ballot. The core will not allow it.

    • deanbob

      So swe should elect Ted Cruz.

      • scruffyleon

        If you mean “swe”den, Cruz is ineligible there also.

        • Leon, you’ve decided that Ted Cruz is not a citizen of the U.S.A. You’re wrong.

          • Another Guest

            Citizen, maybe, natural born…nope.

      • Yes, Bob. We should elect Senator Ted Cruz, who was born to a woman who was a citizen of the U.S.A. and who was raised in TEXAS, totally different from Obama’s early experience being raised by an opponent of democracy. I admit that I wanted BEN CARSON as our next President, but now it appears it’s only Ted Cruz who is in a position to outmaneuver Donald Trump to become the Republican candidate for President.

        • Another Guest

          Yes, let’s all vote for a Canadian native that is a natural born Cuban thanks to his father. That will be great for our country, I’ll bet he will get his orders from the CFR!!! Sounds like a plan. Sorry but Cruz is a bad choice, so is Rubio and that clown from Ohio.

    • mamaainthappy

      Read The Political Insiders today.

    • I’m a life-long Republican (now 86 years of age). We’ve had scoundrels before, even in public office for a time. But regardless of how many people are fooled by Donald Trump if he manages to get the Republican nomination for president, I’ll not be voting Republican. Trump says things he thinks people want to hear. He does things HE wants to do regardless of what that will cost his supporters. I value honesty. I want politicians to keep their promises. When a politician brags about what all HE will do regardless of the Congress, I’m sure I don’t want that person in office.

      • WRY.

        I’m also a Republican and use that term loosely!! A year older than you. That make me smarter! than you . I WILL BE VOTING FOR TRUMP.

        • I agree that wisdom should come with age. Sometimes it does. I know many people younger than I who are better in every way than I am, including in the smartness department. I wouldn’t dare vote for Donald Trump even if he gets the Republican (I’m a lifelong Republican and have never voted for a politician in another party) nomination. I want to see the Republican convention select an HONEST man and of course every Texan is fully and completely honest (?). Right? While New Yorkers are never honest! Right?

      • chilitom

        I am junior to you and so I address you as ‘Sir’!, I am merely 76.
        As long as I can remember, I have voted depending on how each party supports or opposes various issues, those being gun control, abortion, shedding independence to different organizations and adopting bad treaties. I oppose all these things. The GOP at least promised that it was the party that supported my opinions. Sometime it even did, though often it didn’t. Both parties exist by lies. Both parties are run by what now is called ‘the establishment’. To win, either party will promise things myriads of little splinter groups want, but often the party fails to deliver. Best and most recent example in my mind is how DiBlasio, beholden to PETA, is trying to end the horse-and-carriage business in New York despite public outcry supporting this business.
        This Trump guy is not exactly my cup of tea, either. But I support him nonetheless. Why? Just look at who his enemies are! Oprah, Whoopie, George Clooney, Striesand, Sharpton, the list goes on and on. And who supports him? Why, just the rank-and-file of the GOP. Why is the GOP so blatantly freezing out its rank-and-file? And how can an organization set up to be able to freeze out the will of its members even ask those same members for support and contributions?

  • Art LeBeau

    I usually enjoy what Coulter writes, however this article is completely stupid (my judgment) and is meaningless. Regardless I am for Trump and I do pray each day to our Lord Jesus that the person He wants is elected. This country needs to get back to God and The Republic it was founded upon. Art LeBeau Villa Ridge, MO (Christian & Conservative)

    • scruffyleon

      It is obvious that Ann’s humor went over your head. Go rent the the movie The Producers.

    • Not the Donald

      Right, Art. And the vulgar, twice divorce/thrice married, no-need-to-repent, defender of Planned Parenthood, and he of questionable business practices, Donald Trump is just the man to lead us back to God.

      • scruffyleon

        I thought this was a Political race. How did I get on a Religious site?
        Go Trump/ I don’t mind keeping religion away from politics.

        • People matter to God. People who admire Donald Trump are wishing on a star but buying a rotten egg. It makes good sense for every living person to respect God and people who love Him. People who love God do not prove unfaithful to marriage vows and do not go bankrupt at great expense to other investors while not losing anything themselves. Donald Trump lies easily and frequently. He brags about what HE will do as if HE would rule this nation. And fools believe him and adore him.

      • carlosperdue

        As opposed to bath house foam party Super Marco?

  • scruffyleon

    We have got to stop The Establishment from winning. Stop the Media. Stop the Entertainment Industry. Stop our Education System from indoctrinating our children. Trump is the only candidate that can and will stop them. It’s Springtime for Trump!

    • deanbob

      Cruz will do the same, but according to the constitution and the rule of law.

      • scruffyleon

        Cruz is a closet RINO

      • ClarenceDeBarrows

        You’re kidding, of course, deanbob … “according to the ‘Constitution’ (my correction) Cruz isn’t even qualified to run for the Presidency as per Article II of that inspired Document.

      • Bob is speaking truth. Cruz is qualified and is far superior to the bragger Donald Trump who claims he can single-handedly build a wall all across our southern border. And can force Mexico to pay for it! Such foolish brags.

        • desertpatriot

          @ray:
          again, you’re judging donald trump by the way he behaves on stage
          again, it’s just a warm up act designed to draw people in…most of which is tongue in cheek. get it???!!!
          the only way to convince you and others that the donald is the real deal is to see how he performs as president. there’s a revolution taking place; the old guard is being replaced with new blood. come ride the wave!!!

          • THEVPNMASTER

            You got something to say!? I see you liking comments about me.

          • desertpatriot

            @the:
            huh???

          • I’m not sure the nation can afford much more unwise leadership. We’re almost at the tipping point. Obama has done much to ruin us. I’d like to vote for a person I could trust to do what is promised. I have no faith whatever in Donald Trump keeping his word. His promises change depending on his audience rather than on his set purposes. Undependable is my judgment.

          • desertpatriot

            @ray:
            time will tell

        • betterboy

          You have been sucked in by Cruz – it is all an act.

          In 2010 Cruz and Goldman Sachs got together and planned a run for the presidency. Cruz copied Obama’s game plan – be a senator for a year and then run for president. Cruz determined that he needed recognition and decided to act like he was against the establishment (Goldman Sachs and others) while making a name for himself. He got nasty with other senators calling them liars etc. which worked and got him known as going against the establishment. To get elected as senator in 2012, he “borrowed” $1 million from Goldman Sachs. If he lost, how would he pay back the $1million? Why would Goldman Sachs finance his run? Ok, so Cruz won. Then he did his thing – trashing various other senators. I believed him at the time. I thought he was a constitutional powerhouse going after the corrupt establishment. What I didn’t know was that it was all an act. Cruz and Goldman Sachs (the leader in the 2008 crash where $1.4 trillion was stolen from the public) conspired to do what Obama did and so far were successful. Now running for president – how did Cruz pay off his $1million loan? He used campaign contributions from his presidential run to pay off the $1million loan – is that ethical? Did Goldman Sachs give over $1million in presidential contributions to Cruz? If so, the $1million loan was an illegal bait and switch. So, now Cruz is running as an anti-establishment constitutional senator, but is he really anti-establishment or is he a liar and fraud? Being a stock market broker, I can tell you that the insiders make billions every time they crash the market, such as the market crash in 2008. When you have inside information, you buy put options and sell short to make money on the crash. This is why the establishment elite crash the market around every 10 years. Goldman Sachs has their former employees throughout the government – you can bet that is no coincidence. If you have any doubt that Cruz is owned by the establishment elite globalists, then watch the following video – they did all the research and present the facts.

          You must watch this video, search youtube for V9K9Xedk5eM and you will see the video “Rick Wells vs Ted and Heidi Cruz and the one world government”

    • Not the Donald

      First off, Trump is as “establishment” as you can get. What you’ve seen from him over the last few months is nothing but an act. Secondly, Trump has no desire, nor any intention, of becoming President. He’s in this race for one reason, and one reason only. To cause a riff within the Republican party, and secure the election for his good friend, Hillary Clinton. (Okay, I guess that’s two reasons. But still…) He has already accomplished goal #1. And he will accomplish #2 by either running an awful campaign, should he win the Republican nomination, or running as a 3rd party candidate if he does not win the nomination. It’s what the establishment hired him to do.

      • scruffyleon

        You need to correct your spelling. You typed in Trump but you are describing Romney.

        • No, Romney is not in the running. He had his run. That’s past. Now he is speaking up to try to defend patriots from a four-flusher who brags about what HE will do as if the nation had no Congress or Courts.

          • chilitom

            I predict the two tickets will be headed by Clinton and Romney. Perhaps Biden instead of Clinton. The moneyed interests will simply not allow Trump or that little old red, Sanders, to head their respective tickets. If these two mavericks can’t be eliminated by legerdemain in the process, I fear for their safety. But come November, safe, disciplined, malleable candidates will be in place.

  • deanbob

    Those and all of Anns comparisons have real merit!

    • scruffyleon

      Well, most. Some are just funny! Thanks, Ann.

  • Brennan Kingsland

    Love Ann’s humor…and Max, your’s is the perfect add-on

  • Not the Donald

    Back in 2012, when she supported Chris Christie for President, I thought Ann has gone temporarily insane. Now I’m beginning to think it’s actually a permanent condition. Not only is she supporting the candidacy of a life-long liberal, posing as a recently born-again conservative, (not to mention a blusterous con-man) but her writings of late show serious signs of unhingedness.

    • scruffyleon

      Ann clearly cares more for America than she does party labels. Me too! Go Trump.

    • carlosperdue

      You mean, as opposed to the politicians he’s running against? Marco Suave of the Gang of Ocho, Ted “Commerce Uber Alles” Cruz the natural born Canadian who’s such a constitutionalist he’s running illegally, Juan “Big Government” Kasitch, Mitt the Rommunist?

  • codycollie

    I would take Hitler to any of these feckless, corrupt to the core politicians that have infested and infected our government for decades!

    THEY should be afraid, very afraid and NOT of Trump! The American people have had enough of these cockroaches that come out of the dark to do their dirty work and quickly run from the light when it begins to shine on them. Obamacare comes to mind as does Clinton and Obama!

    Ask yourselves. “What has Either Party done that was actually GOOD for this Count that was NOT better for them?”

    By the way, Comparing Trump to Hitler is like comparing Mother Teresa to Hiliary!

  • Moki

    I know, huh?
    The similarities are amazing. And Max’s additions only further clarify how terribly at risk we are.

  • carlosperdue

    Ooooooohhhhhh! Creeeeeepy!

  • joleenworden

    Error missed by Ed: Hitler was not blond at all, and Trump has 2 blond daughters plus a blond son. Ann this is a nice tongue and cheek list of idiocy, but the problem is some people might believe it. Sadly many do not realize your humor or satire. All joking aside I could make a long list of all the differences between the 2 men.

  • Laugh, Ann, but take a look at the polls. Your last (“moderate”) choice failed to win the general election and, if this (“flexible”) one is nominated, he will fail also.

    By the way, regarding the birth thing, I’ll take the legal opinion of someone who’s argued before the Supreme Court over a columnist.

    • connanthecontrarian

      I am Polish and I reject your thesis. Never get caught pumping the neighbors dog while thinking that makes you as smart as Whoopee Goldberg …

      • If you’re Polish, you have nothing to say about American politics!

  • anne@fidalgo.net

    Ha Ha Ha! I love it! Vote Trump 2016. “You WILL enjoy!”

  • unbridled

    Love you Ann. Always have and always will….

    • desertpatriot

      @un:
      ditto!

  • Robert Kozlowski

    Actually if anyone knew a bit of 1938 history one would know it is the BLM, who interrupts and keeps Trump and his supporters from a legal gathering, that are acting more like the Nazi’s. Nazi stood for “National Socialist Party”. The difference between Nazi and Russian Communist was the gang leader, like Crips and Bloods.