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Tips for Hate Crime Hoaxers

In a country of more than 320 million people, everything must happen once. So it’s somewhat surprising that not one of the alleged post-election hate crimes committed by Trump supporters has turned out to be true.They are false in one of two ways: Either they aren’t “hate” or they aren’t true. This week, we’ll provide tips for selling a hate crime that didn’t happen.

Hate Crime Hoaxer Tip No. 1: Don’t invent hate crimes that could form the opening of a Harlequin Romance.

Liberal girls always seem to be imagining strong, rough, Heathcliff-type white men demanding that they disrobe or become “sex slaves.” (Oddly, Heathcliff keeps doing this in well-trafficked areas in the middle of the day with no witnesses.)

The hijab hoaxer at the University of Michigan described her imaginary Trump-supporting pursuer as white, in his 20s or 30s, with an athletic build, unkempt and intoxicated. He demanded that she remove her hijab. (After a police investigation, she admitted she made it up.)

The alleged hijab victim at University of New Mexico, Leena Aggad, said her hijab was ripped off by “a really buff guy wearing a Trump shirt.” (The attack was serious enough for her to tell the media about it, but not serious enough to report it to campus security, much less the police.)

A 28-year-old black woman, Kara Stevens, claimed three Trump-supporting white men in their 30s approached her in a Safeway parking lot in Hillsboro, Oregon, mentioned Donald Trump — then threatened to turn her into their “sex slave”! (Investigation suspended with no video, no witnesses and no evidence.)

With a little more imagination, these stories could become the new “Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Hate Crime Hoaxer Tip No. 2: Don’t accuse white men of throwing things at you — even if it allows you to issue inspirational quotes, suitable for framing, like: “It’s going to take more than a brick to break me!”

An African-American woman, Eleesha Long, claimed that, the day after the election, three white men in Trump shirts threw rocks at her on the campus of Bowling Green State University.

The Safeway “sex slave,” Kara Long, claimed the Trump-supporters threw a brick at her. (She, of the inspirational quote.)

We’ve seen lots of rock-, bottle- and brick-throwing recently — in Ferguson, Baltimore, Charlotte, Oakland, Chicago — in fact, pretty much whenever disaffected urban youth encounter the police.

We’ve seen Mexicans throw eggs at Trump supporters and rocks at the police.

(See, e.g., videos here and here.)

We’ve seen Brazilians throw rocks at journalists at the Olympic Games in Rio, Palestinians throw rocks at the military in Israel, and Muslim “refugees” throw rocks at the police in Europe.

But throwing things at people never really caught on with white men over the age of 6. (NOTE: Sen. John McCain’s bellicose sidekick is a notable exception — CNS News: Sen. Lindsey Graham, “I’m Ready to Throw a Rock” at Russia.)

Even sad, directionless, white (alleged) “men” at Occupy Wall Street protests — i.e., the molecular opposite of a Trump supporter — don’t seem to have thrown rocks at cops. The rock-throwing was done by their minority backup.

(See, e.g., videos here, and here.)

Again, we’re a country of 320 million people, so it must have happened sometime, but the 21st-century white American male is the most pacific — and least rock-throwing — Y-chromosomed being ever to walk the Earth.

Black women accusing white men of throwing rocks at them are thinking of what they would do, not what their athletically built, white male, Trump-supporting Lotharios would do.

Hate Crime Hoaxer Tip No. 3: Don’t post your tale of victimology on Facebook if your father may read it, worry about you and call the police. That’s what Eleesha Long’s father did, which — to Miss Long’s eternal embarrassment — led to a police investigation.

The cops found clear evidence of hate — hers. She’d texted her boyfriend such sweet nothings as, “I haven’t met a decent Trump supporter yet” and “I hope they all get AIDS.”

More significant in terms of the penal code, police determined from her cellphone records that she was nowhere near the site of the alleged rock-throwing incident.

Hate crime hoaxers, I don’t think I need to tell you this, but you do NOT want a police investigation. Much better to send anonymous reports into America’s leading hate group, the Southern Poverty Law Center, so your story can appear in The New York Times, The Washington Post, ABC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, the “Today” show, “Good Morning America,” etc., etc.

COPYRIGHT 2017 ANN COULTER, DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK

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Ann Coulter
Ann Coulter is an American conservative social and political commentator, writer, syndicated columnist, and lawyer. She frequently appears on television, radio, and as a speaker at public and private events.

COPYRIGHT 2015 ANN COULTER, DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL UCLICK

  • justinwachin

    Ann hits the mark once again. I would suggest that hoaxers avoid going after conservatives. Many of us have no problem with the truth; nor do we have a problem pointing out someone is lying. Thanks to President Trump it is likely the falsely accused are going to become more willing to call a lie a lie.

  • samnigromd

    The punishment for hoaxers should be identical to the severest punishment that would have been given to the perpetrator if truly done…..

    • Wayne Peterkin

      Good suggestion!

  • helm20558

    They have the (View), we need ( Reality) . Our expert panelist are Ann, Jeanine, Tomi and (?) guest hosts. Conservative to the bone.

  • notalib

    Coulter, brilliant as usual! I hope these lying liberals learn something from your article but they probably won’t. What they don’t seem to understand is that things are changing all around them now. Their bs won’t be tolerated. Just think Trump and CNN news conference yesterday. It was a beautiful thing to see Trump handle the CNN non-reporter.

  • Liberal girls always seem to be imagining strong, rough, Heathcliff-type white men demanding that they disrobe or become “sex slaves………..thats because they are usually, repulsive, fat, ugly, foul mouthed or a combination of all……..So of course they fanticize about a man….most men run from these disfunctional females then their minds go into full NEUROSIS mode….This is what you see here…….We don’t have enpugh mental hospitals to institutionalize these twits

  • Moki

    Well said, Ann. I am so glad that most of these so-called hate crimes have been hoaxes. I would hate it if conservatives, white men and Trump supporters turned out to be the way these false accusers portrayed them.

  • Wayne Peterkin

    If anyone is guilty of a “hate crime”, it’s Rosie O’Donnell and Charlie Sheen.

  • Firewagon

    Ann, in an accompanying pic after the article, you are exhibiting an excellent, both eyes open, two handed presentation of what appears to be either an Beretta or Taurus 9mm! You do look to be a little confused as to how you should be viewing “your target,” in that you are NOT looking at those pistol sights. Good to know you are “practicing” proficiency outside of your vocation!!

    • JeromefromLayton

      Lots of people shoot with both eyes open for good situational awareness. Like the hearing protection but could someone get her some glasses to protect those lovely eyes?

      • Firewagon

        Excellent catch! Even though an obvious “photo shoot,” as any photog interested in avoiding an early grave wud not be taking that pic from there, remotely perhaps, display of the “correct safety” precautions is advisable.

  • Tim Kern

    Notice how everyone’s keeping quiet about Trump’s plan to gild the White House?

  • THOMAS BYRNES

    Hahahahaha!

  • JeromefromLayton

    Here’s some meat for the lawyers. Party A makes up a libelous or slanderous story and then passes it to party B who then has parties C, D, etc. publish it as “fact”. Could we be talking “Conspiracy” here? As President, Donald will not be in a good position to sue but various agencies can prosecute violations of the law. Meanwhile, independent third parties can attain standing if they can show these stories adversely affected them and hire folks such as Judicial Watch to go out and depose the creeps involved. Discovery is the part of a legal action that can break bank accounts and drain assets.